Battle Cattle: The Card Game
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Battle Cattle, the hilarious game of cow-to-cow combat, is now a card game. America's finest beefsteak puts on armor, grabs the big guns, and goes at it hoof and horn. It includes six full-color cow cards, 110 full-color playing cards, and short, easy rules. Fast, fun, quick to learn... and your foes are hamburger.
Worse yet... this game is fully compatible with Car Wars: The Card Game! Combine the two... take your hot rod out to the pasture and go gunning for Bossy... but remember, Bossy shoots back!
I try not to be unnecessarily hard on any game. I like games a lot, and can usually find some good things about every game to enjoy. But othertimes the search is in vain: the game is just that bad.
Battle Cattle: The Card Game is brought to us by the rather monomaniacally named 'Steve Jackson Games'. The basic idea of the game is for each of the players to protect their starship from the attacks of other while at the same time knocking the junk out of their opponents. How droll.
So, first choose a card with the ship you want to represent your forces in battle -- all ships have the same abilities but some look more fiercesome (read: less cheesy) than others. Of course, being 'Battle Cattle' all ships, weapons, and puns, are centered around the Bovine Ones.
And that's the best part of the game. The actual game itself revolves around a 'take-that' mechanic where players inflict damage on each other by playing cards to certain sections of their opponents' ships. Of course, the only way to defend yourself is to (luckily!) have the exact card you need to protect yourself. So on your turn you may as well throw shielding on one part of your ship, preferably the weakest part -- but of course your only have that armor if you were lucky enough to draw it. And -- look! -- your opponent is on his last legs! Blast him! Oh? ... You don't have the right card? Better head to the draw pile. Better luck next time.
You'll find the flow of the game to be not much more than that. But wait! It gets worse! The only viable strategy in the game (if you actually think there IS any strategy =) is to beat up the weakest player. Who's that? Whoever has been arbitrary selected to be attacked by everyone else (usually the first guy not to be able to defend himself.) First everybody knocks him out, then take a look around the table and try and blast away the next weakest player. And repeat.
And this is a game?
BANG! is, essentially a 'take that' game, but it does it so well, with hidden roles, teamwork, and rewards. Battle Cattle has nothing except punny bovine artwork. And that just doesn't mean much here.